Friday, January 7, 2011

Skin Cell Apoptosis

When a woman reaches a certain age, gravity begins her slow invasion of our collagen cells. We lose tightness, smoothness, nubile coloring.

But, don't be dismayed! There are companies after companies making products after products that return our faces to our previous wellsprings of youthful beauty!

Here is my collection of face saving products.

I impulse buy. Can you tell?

Here are the triplets with their evil older sister Retinol. My skin is clearer, drier, and eczemic.

Is eczemic a word? It should be when my eyelid swell up with scaly, itchy dry patches after using this stuff.

Here's my defense against that evil mistress, The Sun. I've heard she's bad for us, especially for our skin. I'm not sure. I do get grumpy when I don't get enough of her.

Here is my wallet buster. This puppy cost more than my newest pair of shoes, and I didn't even get it at a department store! I put this mess on at night after destroying ten layers of make-up and goop with the triplets (see above).

As my good friend said, "You know you're getting old when you mix your anti-wrinkle cream with your anti-acne cream."

Yes. Yes, you are.

But of all of the products I've collected, this one is the my fallback favorite. You can remove makeup in a snap, make your lips feel like butter, and smooth away all of the dry eczemic patches. All for about $1.50.

As you know, I am many things, not least of all CHEAP.

I'm not sure though if any of these products really are doing anything to help my anti-gravity cause.

What do you think?