Being the Oldest Sucks!

Also at the corn maze place in Hondo was the "Corn Popper", a giant, in-ground inflatable bouncing platform.

We waited 10 minutes so our kids could have a 10 minute jump. The kids were divided into two groups: Those under "x" number of inches tall, and those above "x" inches tall.

We were mean and made Paige jump with the kids under "x" inches tall. She was none too pleased to have to jump with the "babies".

But her indignation was just beginning.

I was the youngest sibling of two. I was the spoiled one. I still am. Having raised an oldest child for these past eight years, I have come to realize that being the oldest sucks.

For example:


Go ahead Paige and Josh, have fun!


Oh, wait. Phoebe can't climb up the undulating, slippery bouncing surface. Go ahead and keep jumping Josh, you're the middle child and so exempt from just about everything.

PAIGE!!!!! COME RESCUE YOUR SISTER!!!!


Thanks, Paige! Good job! You're a great big sister.


Uh, oh. Phoebe fell. Again. Girl is having serious balance issues on this thing. Josh, ignore them all and continue bouncing in your bliss of oblivion.

PAIGE!!!! PHOEBE FELL, AGAIN!!!! CAN YOU HELP HER?


Thanks Pai.....oh, no. She's down again.

PAIGE!! CAN YOU HELP HER UP.........

PAIGE???


Yeah, you're right. Phoebe is too little for this thing. I'll just get her down so you can bounce and have fun. Before I need your help again. Thanks for being a great oldest child!

(I've explained to Paige, many times, that we parents are hardest on our first borns because if we mess them up then the younger siblings will be messed up to. But, in exchange for us being more strict on the first born, they also get all new clothes and toys, and get to have all of best experiences first.

I'll remind this to Josh as Paige drives away for the first time at 16 and Josh is left home pining for freedom. I'll remind him that once upon a time, while Paige was rescuing Phoebe, again, he was bouncing peacefully in his own little world. Now it's his turn for it to suck.

As for the baby? She'll be spoiled. Forever. But that's OK. Somebodies gotta be!)

Lost in the Maze

Down the road a bit, on the way to the big city, there is a small town called Hondo. On the eastern side of town, right on the highway, is a farm that hosts yearly family fall activities. There is a hayride, corn cob shooting, a pumpkin patch, kettle corn and turkey legs, Texas-sized slides, photo opportunities, an in-ground bouncing thing, and best of all, a corn maze.


Jerry's parents were in town for a visit so we decided to take these farm owners to a farm for a change of scenery. They are good sports.


Every year the maze is regrown out of hay grazer, not corn, and after the initial sprouting the maze design is cut into the seven acre field. You can click here to see this year's design. (There was a lady behind me who asked what kind of plant this was. I told her it wasn't corn, but some kind of drought resistant grass. She said, "Hmm. I don't think so. This isn't corn or grass, but certainly maize." Maize=corn. She had obviously been wandering around lost and dehydrated in the maze for many hours.)

Before entering the maze you can pick up these sheets of paper that have a quiz on them. Answer the questions correctly and the answers will tell you the fastest way to get through the maze.

We began OK, but it didn't take long before we started losing some of our party....


The first to go was Paige. Paige!!! Where are you?


Phoebe? Where are you Phoebe? This isn't funny!


Jim? Where did you go? Hello?


Oh, good! You found Phoebe, Linda. But where did Josh go?


Jerry, I'm scared. First Paige, then Jim, then Phoebe and Josh, and now your mom is gone! What are we going to do?


Jerry?

Hello? Where did everybody go?


I'm scared!

Hello?

I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!

Halloween, a Bit Late

Yes. You're right. I'm a bit late. It's almost Christmas and I'm just now getting around to blogging about Halloween.

My West Texas tour took a tad longer than expected. But at least you'll be more interested in Halloween now that the Christmas season is driving you crazy!


This year, Paige was a Native American, Josh was a knight, and Phoebe was the pink princess Sir Josh was sworn to protect. Oh, and apparently in Paige's version of history, Native American princesses also needed a Medieval knight to protect them from the bad guys.


We went trick-or-treating on base, away from the bus loads full of Mexicans that swamp the off base neighborhoods. Some friends came over to wonder the streets with us. They had a storm trooper, a tinker fairy, and Thomas the Train who didn't want to get wet.


Their dad even got into the festive occasion. Besides being a highly trained Air Force pilot, this gentleman also is available for your child's birthday party dressed up as Darth Vader (scary breathing included!)

"Honey, I'm not sure you should be holding that particular part of Darth Vader. It may upset him!"


Jerry and I dressed up a few nights before for a grown-up Halloween party at a friends house. We wanted a matching couples outfit, and because Jerry is as wide as a semi, our options for costumes were very limited. One of the only couples outfits we could get was this Viking set. Unfortunately for me, the ginormous chest the model had in the pictures didn't come with the costume. Drat!


What happens when you have 20 fun, friendly women and give them a tad too much bloody margaritas? FUN!!!

(PS. Look closely. There is a male traitor in our midst!)

Happy Halloween! (Very, very belated!)

Balmorrhea, rhymes with diarrhea, State Park

Sorry for the blogging break. 'Tis been a tad busy around here......

For the past way too long I have been sharing with you some of the random awesomeness that can be found here in the nothing. From mountain lions and smelly javelina, to screaming husbands and sand sledding, there has been a lot of interesting things to share with you.

Here is one more. Only one more and then we will (finally!) be done with this vacation that really only took us 6 days to complete.

Next we will look at Balmorrhea State Park.

After sledding very, very slowly down the sand dunes at Monahans Sand Hills State Park, we drove back to our camper in Fort Davis, stopping at this oasis along the way.


Balmorrhea State Park is easy to miss. In fact, we had driven right past it earlier in the day on the way to the sand dunes and we hadn't even noticed it. It's just a tiny speck of interesting.

Truly, there is really only one thing interesting at Balmorrhea and it is this man-made, spring-fed swimming pool that is open year round. It is truly a marvel. There are three connected sections through which 22-28 million gallons of water pass through each day. The pool holds 3 1/2 million gallons of water and has a "deep end" of 25 feet. (A standard Olympic size pool holds 660,430 gallons.)


There is a shallow end that gently slopes down to the center circular part of the pool that has a depth of 25 feet. The water is a brisk 71-73 degrees year round, and because the pool water is untreated fresh spring water, there is a really healthy moss and algae population in the shallow end. The idea was great, but really, it was kinda gross.


The other section coming off of the center is also 25' deep and sports a 3 meter diving board on the end. There are plenty of fresh water catfish, sucker fish, and smaller fish to look at if you snorkel or scuba dive in the pool. It's a tad unnerving jumping off of the diving board and wondering if you're going to smack into a catfish.


Between the center and deep sections of the pool was a short diving board. Paige was the only one brave enough to jump in, though with her floaty ring securely attached to her tummy. Although she swims like a fish, she really didn't want to feet-smack one either.


Of course Jerry, the big giant child-man, enjoyed the diving boards, too. Here he is doing a back flip. I bet he scared the living poop out of those suspecting fish below! Poor things, there they are just minding their own business eating the muck along the walls and rocky bottom of the pool and FaBLOOOOHEY! In comes a giant beast of a man! Can fish have a heart attacks?


We had intended on staying to swim for an hour or so but only ended up staying for thirty minutes. As you can see, the kids were cold to the core, and from the look of Josh's yawning face, we were all pretty tired from the sand-capades we had enjoyed previously.


We, like most parents, tried to enforce mandatory fun, but as a loving mother you can only watch your kids shiver and turn blue for so long before it's time to pack it in.

Overall it was a fun place to play. But maybe on a warmer day. And with a fishing spear. I wouldn't mind some fresh catfish for dinner......

Monkey Climbing

Sledding, no, scooting down a sand dune, or flying through the air down one is fun. But then there's the problem of getting back up the thing.


From the bottom of the dune it seems like a long way up.


The sand looks quite firm, like it wouldn't be too hard of a challenge to walk on it.


You would be mistaken. Depending on your weight, with each step you sink ankle to calf deep into the sand.

I'm not telling you how deep my feet sank.


All I can say is that our kids got not only their weekly allowance of Vitamin D, but also enough exercise to last them a week.


Keep going, Paige! You're almost to the top!


Phew! You made it! Nice work!


Phoebe was able to climb the dunes using the hand over hand monkey climb technique. Because she it a monkey.


But she tuckered out pretty quickly so Mr. Macho Dad had to come to the rescue. Hold tight everybody while Dad pulls you up the dune!


Phoebe fail.

Now get up, Monkey. You can do it!

Jerry Jumping

What about Jerry? Did he enjoy sledding, too?

Not so much. When Josh sees a hill he sees an opportunity to throw rocks off of it.

When Jerry sees a sand dune, he sees an opportunity to jump off of it.


"That wasn't good enough. Let me try again."


"What about that time? Was that jump any good?"


"Yes, honey. I got it. You are a magnificent specimen of a man. Very, super manly."


"Now sit and have a rest while you try to extricate your legs from the sand dune. I'm tired just watching that manly display of jumping. You're awesome, honey."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

Paula Sand Sledding

What about me? Did I go sledding or am I too old to enjoy fun things anymore?


I may be closer to 40 than 30, but I certainly know how to have a good time! (so to speak!)


Here I go kids! Watch me! I grew up in the snow, sledding down our mile long drive way into the street and the traffic below. I am a sledding queen!


Yeah, well, YOU try sledding down sand with a big, almost 40 year old back side. You too will have to paddle your way down.

Please don't judge me by my ginormous sand wake.