Off a Bridge

I guess I've finally exasperated the children too much. They've had enough and decided it was time to go jump off a bridge.


First Paige and then Josh abandoned hope and took the big plunge.


Sometimes things are just too hard to deal with.


Some people are just prone to exaggeration. Why jump when all you really need is to just CHILL OUT!

Vegetables for Dinner

Lately I've been on a kick to try some new ways of preparing vegetables for dinner. I mean, how many times can you eat steamed broccoli before you just want something different?

I've tried all kinds of things to mixed results. Just this afternoon I tried kale chips of all things.

(Kale is a leafy vegetable, like swiss chard or collard greens.)

I was supposed to use flat leaf kale but all H.E.B. had was curly leaf kale. First you rinse the kale, then toss it with oil, vinegar, and salt, and then bake for 10-13 minutes.

The blogger who wrote this recipe swore her two boys LOVED the kale chips despite it's ugly appearance. So I gave it a try.

Let me just tell you that the acorn soup the kids made in the backyard the other day probably would have tasted better.

I guess it's back to broccoli. Maybe tonight I'll go wild and put some Velveeta on it! Woo Hoo!

Hummingbirds and Children

Top Ten Reasons Why Children are Like Hummingbirds

10. They come in all different sizes and colors.

9. They travel in packs, preferring their own particular clique.

8. The have two speeds: 1000 mph, or STOP.

7. The more sweets you give them, the more they want.

6. They like to stick out their tongues.

5. When they're around there is always this buzzing, chattering noise in the air.

4. They are beautiful to look at, until they get all up in your face. And then they're kind of scary. Who knows what they're going to poke you with!

3. Before you have them you can't wait to get them. And then you want some more. And then one day, suddenly, you have more than you can handle.


2. They spend so much energy fighting over space and possessions when there is plenty to go around.

And the number one reason why Children are Like Hummingbirds:

1. The backyard would be boring and dull without them all flitting around here and there going a million miles an hour, fighting over nothing, and buzzing in your ear.



Then there's THIS! Did you know woodpeckers have long, probing tongues like hummingbirds with which they use to drink?

This is a red-bellied woodpecker who likes to occasion our hummingbird feeder.


Or else we really should cut down on the sugar we're using in our hummingbird food. This guy should really switch to diet!

Messy Children Expansion

I'm pretty uptight about the kids making a mess in the community areas, like the living room and kitchen table. Yes. You're right. I'm just uptight.

As such, the kids are pretty good about containing their messes, I mean toys, to their rooms. So when suddenly they are spreading their Zue Zue Pet Hampster Hangout, the restaurant to their Zue Zue Pet Hamster Hotel, all over my kitchen table, I get suspicious.


Yes. It is as I thought. They have already destroyed one room leaving no more room to play.


And yes, there is the other room destroyed for playing. I guess one of my rooms was the only choice left.

Oh, contraire mon frere! Suddenly they had to take a Hamster Hotel Hangout hiatus and clean their rooms. Again. In one morning. For the fifth time.

Which begs the question. Are all children messy like this? Do your children, if you have any, completely destroy their rooms in 2.4 seconds and then walk away like nothing happened?

What to do?!!!

Our New Pets

Jerry has gotten a bit obsessed about feeding the birds. We now have one dangler for the finches, a standard bird feeder for the songbirds, two hummingbird feeders, and two suet racks.

Suet, in case you didn't know, is beef fat mixed with bird seed. Why a bird would want to eat a cow is beyond me, but the little boogers seem to love the stuff. When we put a new suet block into the cage, the stuff only lasts a few hours. Between the 6 grackles, 5 doves, 3 cardinals, and 15789 finches, there isn't much left for anything else.

Unless the squirrels show up first. We have the other bird feeders hanging from a tree on fishing line so the squirrels can't get to the bird food. But the suet cages are hanging on the privacy fence beneath a giant oak tree in our backyard.

Here's a simple math equation for you: Oak tree + fence + cow fat + bird seeds = squirrels, squirrels, and more squirrels!

I don't know why people don't like squirrels. I think they are cute, funny, adventurous, daring, acrobatic, and brave. I would rather watch the squirrels than the birds, really.

This is why:
"Oooh! Stale, old bread! Yummy! I wonder if anyone will notice if I sneak down there for a taste or 8?"


"If I just....squeeze....my fat face......up tight enough.........against.........the cage.......I'll be able to..........get.....a........bite........of.......bread."


"Oh, my word. Nature's Own Buttertop bread is the BEST!!! Some wonderful Grandma must have converted them from that other nasty wheat crap they used to try and feed me!

Thanks, Grandma!"


"Great! No one saw me! Now I'll make my escape. Those dumb humans. I fool 'em every time."

See? Betcha didn't know squirrels were so verbose, did ya? All the birds ever say is, "Squeak, squawk, caw, and peep."

No wonder they're called bird brains!

Not Sonny and Cher

Here's a quiz for you based on the photograph above:

1. Does Phoebe enjoy Jerry and my singing?
a. Yes! She's loving every off-key moment!
b. Maybe. She's a bit undecided who sings the best.
c. Not really. But it's OK.
d. Holy crow does she think we are awful!! Mom! Dad! BE QUIET!!!

If you answered "d" you get an A++++!

(We sing beautifully, BTW. It's everyone else on the radio who is off-tune!)

Popcorn Bag Review

I am a sucker for advertising, I admit. I tend to fall for new gimmicky gimmicks. Like the new Orville Redenbacher microwave popcorn bag. Not only do you get to pop corn in the microwave, but then the bag converts into a bowl from which you can eat the popcorn!

Sounds great right? I thought so, too. One less bowl to wash! Anything that decreases the amount of dishes I have to wash MUST be a good thing!



The popcorn was tasty, yet the kids seem to think the Diet Coke I gave them would taste better on the popcorn instead of drinking it after the popcorn.

My kids are gross. And so is popcorn dipped in Diet Coke. Not that I tried it. Twice.


As for the popcorn bowl/bag gimmick, I won't be doing that again. The bowl/bag is nice and wide, but even so, by the time you get to the kernels at the bottom, the back of your hand and fingertips are covered in the melted butter/salt that sticks to the sides and bottom of the bowl/bag. Not only do you have buttery fingers, but after the kids walk off and rub their hands all over their clothes, the furniture, and the dog, you also have one giant butter mess!

Too bad, really. But what seems like a good idea can sometimes turn into a big, bag disaster.

Live, learn, and wipe.