Sunday, August 7, 2011

Our New Pets

Jerry has gotten a bit obsessed about feeding the birds. We now have one dangler for the finches, a standard bird feeder for the songbirds, two hummingbird feeders, and two suet racks.

Suet, in case you didn't know, is beef fat mixed with bird seed. Why a bird would want to eat a cow is beyond me, but the little boogers seem to love the stuff. When we put a new suet block into the cage, the stuff only lasts a few hours. Between the 6 grackles, 5 doves, 3 cardinals, and 15789 finches, there isn't much left for anything else.

Unless the squirrels show up first. We have the other bird feeders hanging from a tree on fishing line so the squirrels can't get to the bird food. But the suet cages are hanging on the privacy fence beneath a giant oak tree in our backyard.

Here's a simple math equation for you: Oak tree + fence + cow fat + bird seeds = squirrels, squirrels, and more squirrels!

I don't know why people don't like squirrels. I think they are cute, funny, adventurous, daring, acrobatic, and brave. I would rather watch the squirrels than the birds, really.

This is why:
"Oooh! Stale, old bread! Yummy! I wonder if anyone will notice if I sneak down there for a taste or 8?"

"If I fat face......up tight enough.........against.........the cage.......I'll be able to..........get.....a........bite........of.......bread."

"Oh, my word. Nature's Own Buttertop bread is the BEST!!! Some wonderful Grandma must have converted them from that other nasty wheat crap they used to try and feed me!

Thanks, Grandma!"

"Great! No one saw me! Now I'll make my escape. Those dumb humans. I fool 'em every time."

See? Betcha didn't know squirrels were so verbose, did ya? All the birds ever say is, "Squeak, squawk, caw, and peep."

No wonder they're called bird brains!