Tuesday, July 26, 2011

It's Hot. Did You Know?

It's hot. Did you notice?

All over the country people are baking like an oven. Scorched lands are burning, dust storms are covering crops, giant grasshoppers are invading Oklahoma, etc.

You people on the East Coast are burning and yet somehow soaking wet at the same time.

For real, you all can keep that humidity to yourselves. Thanks.

We're pretty hot here, too. We're getting to that stage where in the shade it's still not too hot, but the second you step into the never-ending sunshine your skin immediately feels like it's burning. Like, really burning. Like, flames should be erupting from your skin as it slowly melts through burn degrees one through three.

Here's a shot of my normally correct in-car outdoor thermometer. 113∘. A minute earlier when we first got in the car it was 115∘. I don't know where those 2 degrees went, but whatever.

I didn't start out taking this picture solely for the high temperature. What didn't show up at all in the photo is the driving range in the background FULL of golfers smacking and hooking their balls in the middle of the afternoon in the middle of a heatwave.

Golfers are tougher stuff than me.

I just don't get it.

I'm not that tough. Later that same day, while watching "Wipe Out: Nerds vs. Hotties", (yes, my mothering skills are FABulous!) ((BTW, it's really hard to explain to a precocious 7 year old what a "nerd" or "hottie" is, though by the look on Josh's face when the "hotties" were on the jiggle machine, he understood PERFECTLY what a hottie is.)) (((Boys.))), I realized we were all red-faced and sweaty while sitting on our couch at 8 in the evening.

Dang, kids, why is it so hot in here?

The air conditioner had stopped working. The fan was blowing warm air into the house as the AC unit outside had become quiet as a mouse.

Did I mention it was still 96∘ outside? At 8pm?

I made an emergency call to the housing office that manages our on-base house, and within an hour the techs were out to the house, and within ten more minutes the problem was fixed.

Our house had gotten up to 86∘.

AHHH! Sweet relief of cold, cold air!

Dear Lord,

I would like to thank you for air conditioning and technicians who make late night house-calls.