Sunday, July 24, 2011

How Not to Document a Haircut

Phoebe, Queen of the Wild Hair, was finally ready for her first ever haircut. As she has curly hair, I've had 1000 hair cuts as experience, and I'm cheap, I decided to cut her hair myself.

It's OK. This is not a messed-up-hair-cut story. I'm pretty good at giving haircuts. I've been cutting Paige's hair for years and I have even mastered doing long layers!

To document this momentous occasion, that is, the dethroning of the Crazy Hair Queen, I asked Paige to photograph the event.

I would like to share her photographs with you.

They are superb.

OK, here we are. I've got Phoebe up on the step stool so she can hold on to the top bar and keep the squirming to a minimum.

Paige managed to get us centered. That was good. I particularly love that the center focus of the picture is the kitchen chair.

Here's the chair again. Nice finger prints and smudge marks on it, don't you think?

Hey, there we are! Behind the chair. Look! She got one of Phoebe looking AND smiling at the camera!

Maybe these photos are better than I thought.

This is my favorite. Now there is a napkin in the foreground, again the centered image of the chair, and in addition, a tiny, blurry view of her thumb!

While you're looking at these photos, go ahead and study the layout and styling of our kitchen.

I know you're totally jealous of my circa 1970 kitchen cabinets and industrial vinyl flooring!

You can hate me for my kitchen. It's OK. I'll forgive you.

So overall, Paige does not seem to have come by photography skills naturally. She's gonna have to have a lesson or six about lighting, framing, focus, and action.

I guess I'll have to teach her as I am the BEST photographer in the world. Just look at this last photo! I mean it's blurry, the focus is more on the lollipop than on Phoebe, and the angle of her outstretched arm leads your eyes directly outside to our disgustingly cluttered back patio.

I mean, I am so bad it's GOOD!

(If you want to see truly good photography, head on over to my friend Patti's blog. She's a master!)