Yeah, I hate that, too.
I'm not used to going to places where we have to worry about the littlest members of our group being eaten by anything other than mosquitoes. But out here in the desert mountains, we had to be on the alert for black bears and mountain lions. Both of which will, and have, hunted and attacked small children.
So you can imagine my fear when on the first night in the woods of Fort Davis Mountains State Park, as I'm walking the trash to the bear-proof dumpster down the hill, I look back and see Phoebe straying too far away from the camper.
Did I mention it was dusk? Did I mention Phoebe ran at least 100 yards away from Jerry who was outside "watching" her?
He was THRILLED when I screamed at him, across the RV park with at least five other families within ear range, "JERRY! PHOEBE IS RUNNING AWAY! STOP HER!!"
"NO, SHE'S RIGHT HERE! SHE'S FINE!'
"NOOOOOO, SHE'S RUNNING AWAY UP THE HILL!"
"I'VE GOT HER!"
"NOOOOOOOO YOU DON'T!!!!!!!! SHE'S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAMPER! GOING UP THE HILL! GET HER BEFORE A MOUNTAIN LION DOES!"
"BE QUIET WOMAN!!! I'VE GOT HER!"
"JERRY!!!!!!! GET PHOEBE NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Then he turned and saw that she was vanishing behind the Airstream up the path.
He went and got her. And she was uneaten, thank you GOD.
(If you know my husband, at all, you will know that he does not like being yelled at, told what to do, nagged, or harassed by a woman in any way. He particularly doesn't like being yelled at, told what to do, nagged, or harassed by THIS woman in front of a group of complete strangers. He's a chauvinistic gentleman.)
(And yes, he did call me "woman". I LOVE that. I usually don't care when Jerry shows off his most chauvinistic characteristics, but when he refers to me as "woman", my inner feminist goes into high alert. I am "WOMAN" hear me roar! Especially when he's about to let one of my offspring become dinner.)
(Why don't we ever hear someone say in a condescending voice, "MAN"? Like, "Be quiet, man, you are bugging me!" or "Hold it down, man, you are interrupting Grey's Anatomy?" It's just not right!)
We may not have lost Phoebe to the lions, but we almost lost Belly to the javelinas. She is a boar-hunter after all. If it wasn't for her 11 years, arthritis, and complete lack of interest, she would have completely devoured one these relatives of the hippo.There were enough of them around for just about any boar hound worth it's salt to catch. Our poor deceased Lucy would have run one of those pig-like animals down and eaten it for a snack.
Unless she stopped to smell it first. These things really do smell like an old skunk that rolled in horse droppings.
The dudes camping across from us kept feeding them cereal from the safety of their Wal-Mart folding chairs. These animals weighed at least 100 pounds a piece.Nothing says safety like canvas and metal folding chairs.
Somethings you just can't teach.
Like how to keep your child from being eaten by a lion.
MAN!!!
