Friday, November 12, 2010

Craft Party Shenanigans!

At 7 years old, Paige has been very patient waiting for her first ever birthday party. Yes, yes, she had a Princess Spring party a few years ago, but never a birthday party with her school friends.

Poor thing! Let's all cry boo hoo for poor neglected, unloved, and totally unspoiled Paige!

Oooh. Sorry. That was heavy on the sarcasm.


As a slacker-in-a-busy-bodies-body, I kept forgetting to book the park where she wanted to have her birthday "Angel" party, so when I finally did remember to call the park was already rented.

Option 2-6 fell through also so we ended up booking the craft room at the local Michael's Craft Store.

What could be more fun than a craft party with 10-12 six and seven year old girls??

(Insert pithy comment here: An enema? A root canal? I know, I know! A colonoscopy!)

Wow. I am really ill tonight!

So instead of being all chipper and oohing and ahhing about how great the party was, though it really was, I will instead give you my standard :

Lessons from a Craft Party

1. Send out the invitations early. No one will RSVP and only a few will show up. But our good friends from Houston drove all the way over for Paige's special day which made us all happy and the weekend complete! (Paige hasn't had a birthday celebration without her "girls" in what, 4 years?)

2. DO NOT BUY PARTY BLOWERS!! Unless you're at an outside party where the noise cannot ricochet off of the low ceiling and small-room walls.

3. When you buy the crafts for the girls to do, take into account their age and level of attention. For example, a party for a tween may be good with beading a bracelet or some other tedious task requiring minute focus and a smidgen of attention.

Seven year old girls have an attention span of 37 seconds.

It was a two hour long party.

Buy AT LEAST four crafts, with multiple steps, not a lot of spray adhesive to keep the intoxicating fumes to a minimum, and have a few handy dad's around to run boredom interference.

4. Where a shirt with a high collar. Hello, cleavage!

5. Buy extra crafts for the extra-crafty parents who stick around for the party. Very nice brushstrokes and attention to detail Jeff!

6. Laugh uproariously when your husband is completely stumped by the yellow magic markers. "Honey? What are these for? Do we need them? Did we miss something?"

(I put them on the table for the girls to use to write their names on their picture frames. I think Jerry got a little too close to that spray adhesive can.)

7. Don't be shocked when it seems like an hour and already both crafts you planned are done and it's only been twenty minutes.

Oh, Lordy! Now what?

8. Enter Dad. "How about musical chairs?"

Yes!! Musical chairs! Why hadn't I thought of that? (Thanks Jeff!)

(Oh, maybe it's because I've forgotten everything fun and my inner child has been taking a very, very, very long nap?)

9. Opening presents and eating cake will take only 8 minutes so don't count on that filling the awkward silence....

10. When in doubt, more musical chairs!

11. When in doubt in doubt, buy a coloring book and a pack of crayons and let them color until their parents come to collect them.


Instead of a craft party, invite the party girls to your house, no matter how small, and let them have a giant playdate. They don't need, or want, all of that organized hoopla. They'll have more fun and you'll have less stress.

And, you won't be finding glitter in mysterious places.......