Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fake vs. Real

I'm not sure what has happened to my husband.

Jerry has always been one of those typical men who could care less about their home furnishings. Roof? Check. Couch and TV? Check. Bed? Check. What else is there?

I remember painting the walls of our bedroom in our very first house varying shades of blue. After spending the day painting, I asked Jerry, "So, what do you think of the new paint color?" to which he replied, "New color? Hasn't it always been blue? Whatever. It looks fine to me."

Decorating our house has always fallen to me. It's a job I really enjoy in part because I can do whatever I want without having to consult Jerry first.

When we move to Del Rio in January, we have decided to finally move away from our college dorm hodge-podge look and get some nice matchy-matchy furniture. This past weekend we drove to IKEA in Roundrock to look around and see what we might like to get for the house.

IKEA is Mecca to me. I could get lost in that store and be happy for weeks. Jerry really likes IKEA, too, both for the style of furnishings and the great meatballs in the restaurant. But the trip was different this time.

Instead of me walking around saying, "I like this, I like that. What do you think?" and Jerry responding curtly with, "That's nice. So is that. WHATEVER! You decide. Can we go get meatballs now?"

This visit, Jerry was the one walking from display to display asking, "What about this couch? It would match this brown/black table. How about for the TV? I think we need an area rug." I had to stop and look around to see who had stolen my husband and replaced him with this HGTV dude.

Finally we were able to come to a decorative consensus, but it wasn't easy. It was dang hard! With three wild kids in tow, weekend IKEA crowds, and a husband who suddenly wants a say when it comes to the color of our couch, this shopping trip was a real challenge! I liked it better when he dismissed my rhetorical questions with a wave and a burp.

If that wasn't weird enough, which it was, on the drive home from IKEA I brought up the issue of a Christmas tree. For years we've been using a 9' artificial tree. But the house in Del Rio is older and only has 8' ceilings so that tree will have to go. I mentioned an artificial Christmas tree sale to Jerry, warning him that I would be spending some $ for a new tree when he dropped this bomb on me:

"This year I want a real Christmas tree."

WHAT??? Mr. Bah Humbug wants a real tree? The man who in all previous years couldn't care less if we even had a tree now wants a real tree?


Because I didn't want to downplay his obvious Christmas enthusiasm, I agreed to a real tree. THIS year only with the option to re-evaluate next year.

But I've changed my mind. Here's why:

1. Real trees smell nice but they are a huge hassle.

2. You have to wait until closer to Christmas to put up your tree.

3. You have to pick one out from the other thousands.

4. The real trees cost almost as much a decent artificial one. (I found a pre-lit 7' tree for $150. We'll recoup that cost after only 1 1/2 real tree Christmases.)

5. You have to water the tree everyday.

6. You have to vacuum up the dropped needles everyday.

7. We live in an apartment with carpet and no good place for a tree.

8. When Christmas is done you have to find somewhere to dump the tree.

9. You have to clean the carpet of stains and sap for weeks.

10. Repeat next year.

Now, go back up to the list above and replace the word "you" with the word "Paula". I will have to do everything. All Jerry will do is help pick out the tree, tie it to the truck roof, and help put it in the stand. I will do the rest. ALL OF IT.

I'm afraid Jerry's gonna have to give in on this one. If it makes him feel better I'll buy some "real tree" smell to put in the apartment.

What happened to him not caring? Why this year? Why NOW???

If anyone sees my empathetic husband wandering around lost, please send him back home. This new dude is gonna drive me crazy!